Dancer Tales: Too Old and Fat
The last time I went pro as a dancer was 10 years ago. It was effortlessly easy.
Now everything hurts. But I'm stronger than I've ever been in my life. And I can do things now I couldn't then.
Sometimes I look at the greats - at Ian Eastwood, and think, "I'm too old." Or at Quick Crew and think, "I'm too fat. I can't get my body to look like that without starving."
Some of my videos make me cringe and wonder why black isn't slimming on ME and why my arms are moving like there's lead in them.
But then I see Laure Courtellemont and her Ragga Jam team and I remind myself there are dances for people with my body type and that it's not my curves: I'm just fucking out of shape LOLOL.
I remind myself that my LA teacher Norma is older than me and my friend Diane at 60 is a more graceful dancer than I am right now. And I'm inspired to work harder and feed better so I won't move so Hobbit-y anymore.
And I tell myself to quit it with the "old" thing. Because nothing wastes more time than thinking about bullshit.
So, here's me at my grind.
(You don't need to comment that I'm skinny. I'm in Thigh Gap Nation owning my #fattybitch status - in fact it made me a better Lyra dancer than the pole teachers even because I've got some padding on me.)