'I Was Tha Tampax Hoe': Why Your Gizoogle Page is Better Than Your Real One

You need to gizoogle your site RIGHT NOW: http://www.gizoogle.net/ 

It's a hilarious parody - an honor, really - that rewrites your website in Snoop Dogg speak. Here's my Gizoogled bio:

Snoop Dogg's Language Revolution May Put Copywriters Out of Business

I skimmed some life coaches' Gizoogled bios and I wanted to hire THAT version of them.

Why?

Because gangsta slang copy isn't boring. 

Are you done with boring? Get yourself Storybranded by the #bosslady HERE - last chance before prices go up 1/9/15!

So many blog bios sound like this:

"My name is Generic Life Coach and I'm committed to helping women discover their true selves, live their full lives and build their business of freedom."

I went on a skype call in the middle of writing that sentence I was so bored.

When I see that kind of introduction on an About page, I skim until I get to the good part, the part where you were up in a cold-ass lil couple pornos. Or was the world's first iPod silhouette. For example.

Wait, Why Do I Want to Work with a Porn Star?

You don't. But you want to work with the life coach, business mentor, intuitive, pet medium, WHOEVER who's willing to tell you they were in porn, a recovered addict, formerly bankrupt.

This is called transparency. And transparency is courage.

This is the individual who sees things as they are. And says the truth out loud. 

Transparency is fun.

If you're not into fun, go hire the boring guy. And keep sleeping.

But if you want to lead to the kind of life that gets you sneaking into the royal gardens in Copenhagen and retrieving Jackie Chan from the airport, go with someone like me. (true stories)

For the record I was in movies. MOVIES. Not pornos.

You don't have to be the world's first iPod silhouette model to tell a good story. You just have to be you. I will show you how. GET STORYBRANDED NOW - ON SALE UNTIL 1/9/15

Not sure which package is for you? Apply for a consult HERE - limited number available.